Kind attention

Of late I've been blogging a lot from my phone. Which is not a terribly fancy one, I love it nevertheless. Hence the sms style of writing and a few glaring grammatical errors.

Solpa adjust madi :)

Karma chameleon

The picture above is that of the day old progeny of Nuduki n ditto... Today it reminded me of the strange ways the universe to balance things... The cycle that is always followed...somewhere in the beginning of this blog i wrote of a new job... Somewhere in the middle i wrote of a nascent frustration... And then i stopped writing... Today 2 days after i gave my notice... I was riding back home from work... And in the safety of my helmet... My very own mobile enclosure... I was playing out an imaginary argument in my head... It was based on fact of course...the argument ended with me feeling how no matter how sincere your efforts are and no matter how good your intentions are the world today is not one to acknowledge it ... I will not be better off just because i am a better human being... As i was drowning in my uncharacteristic negativity i did.nt realise i had stopped in my tracks and turned my bright headlight away from the narrow path in front of me... There was an elderly man coming down the path . He obviously had difficulty walking and was moving slowly with the aid of a walking stick. As i paused and gave way for him, my mind was still swirling with the indignance of not getting my due. What's the point? I thought to myself. Suddenly the elderly gentleman crossed me and looked up with a smile that could only have come from the bottom of his heart... And said thank you very much... It was then that i realised i had waited i long enough to let him pass comfortably at his own pace. It had been too long since someone had thanked me for the little things i did for them... All i could do was smile back at the old man... I wish he knew the gratitude i felt towards him then...i rode away pulling back the visor of my helmet so that the wind hitting my face would dry my tears. I wonder how many people i had ever done the same for. Sometimes a thank you does more than a concious act of selflessness

old mob blog

Apart from the mosquitoes that trouble me because i have to keep the window open during summer and the more recent concern of charging my phone i've never really had any complaints against power cuts in the evenings. For me it is and has always been a welcome pause in the life's requirements. Be it sitting by candle letting it's flames mesmerise you or drifting away in your own little secret thoughts where no one can see you smile in the dark. Load shedding always have me the opportunity to take a moment and enjoy a still life...my fondest memories were of sitting on the verandah by my grandmother's chair listening to her stories. Just the night breeze, smell of rain and my grandmothers gentle tone taking me away to someplace peaceful.

old mobile blog

This was an old mobile blog that went to some other strange blog link. Thought it easier to just copy paste

Took this picture one evening while going to Shrimoy's place after a long day at work... This was what i saw from my auto . I missed the mg road i loved so much as a child growing up in Bangalore. But there was something still so beautiful about the way this tree stood out against the twilight. There was a strange symbolism to the whole moment. This picture has been on my phone for sometime now... And as i found out yesterday so was the gprs facility. :) as you can see i'm finally using the "blog this" feature on my phone . YAY! :)

TGIS(M)

As it happens often, this saturday that i did not have to work i was woken earlier than i would have by 2 v happy labradors and one v sleepy pilot. Which was not all together unpleasant i must say. For the first time since i have shifted into my new home i can finally sit back and enjoy the beautiful morning light in my room. I quickly brushed my teeth n put on the kettle for a cup of organic tulsi tea. Cuddled in bed with my "ma ke hath ka" quilt for the delightfut morning chill, my healthy chai and my feluda novel... These saturday mornings are worth waiting for :) .

Midsummer noons nightmare

"I don't need to compromise my principles, because they don't have the slightest bearing on what happens to me anyway." - Calvin

So it was another hot day at work. Peeves me off when i think of it...ok I'm heading slightly oftrack from my the events of the day but I just need to get this off my chest.

My new office is a perfect scaled down model of this planet.

We (as ashamed as I am its not an easier "they") take around 30 unneccesary A4 and around 15 A1 prints a day (JGI A1). Well it is because drawings need to be read in a larger scale hence the larger paper hence the need for a plotter which will not accept a used sheet.
The carbon footprint of our firm is easily thrice the size of most mid sized design firms like ours. We are systematically destroying rainforests whilst designing eco resorts on tropical islands for the ridiculously rich. Hence our role in global warming is considerable comparitively.
I sit on the second floor of my office building which is not really designed for the summer. And as the summer days are getting hotter, working environments here are reaching inhuman.
So...we might get an AC up here. And there we go again.

So as frustrated as I am with myself for not doing something about it soon enough, I have to meet deadlines under mental as well as physical heat!.
It was during one of such moments that I walked out into the balcony where my colleague was chattering pleasantly on the phone. I saw her expression change from carefree bantering to panic stricken frenzy. (Ok Ok I'm being slightly dramatic)
Our bikes were being towed away because we had parked in a no parking zone. This zone is the bit of the storm water drain that is covered with stone slabs, it has a fair sized tree planted in between and can no way be classified as a footpath. No two/four legged creature would tread on it during its daily thorough fair down the busy little street.
We stood watching helplessely as a toothless man lugged my poor bike mercilessly onto an overloaded truck and waved cheerfully as he drove away.
As it happens I dont have a license for my bike. I had a learner's license once but then it expired and I didnt have the heart to replace it. .....honest!!
So thanks to a helpful colleague and a 300 rupee dent in my cratered wallet I rode back to work slightly miffed and largely grateful I was not behind bars .. (did I mention I lost my bike papers?)
If you're thinking I should've been more responsible hold that thought for a sec and freeze that eyerole to half a circle and hear me out.

I don't go the temple or perform poojas everyday or whenever I should. I have forgotten all the mantras and bhajans taught to me as a child. I don't bow my head or mutter a quick prayer as I pass a temple. Yes I do glance at the diety always but apart from being a childhood habit I just want to say hi :).
I do thank whoever or whatever is responsible for my life. I think I've had it pretty good.
I ask for protection and success to the people who matter. And I hope to be a better person the next day. I am a vegetarian and dont kill mosquitoes even, of late I've stopped buying leather and am looking to source an promote ahimsa silk.

I dont have license or bike papers. I started wearing a helmet only of late and park in no parking zones that are wrongly so.
I follow lane discipline even if it means an extra 10 minutes on the road. I always make my intentions clear when I am shifting lanes or taking turns. I always park such that I dont cause any inconvenience to people/traffic. I dont speed or honk blatantly. The only reason I do have a motor vehicle is because my bag got snatched while walking home one day. I dont have a car because I dont need one, I'd love to have one though.

The world is full of religious assholes.
The world is full of licensed assholes.

I just paid 300 bucks because the law demanded so. The no parking sign was removed the next day.The only reason I am going to get my papers in order is so that I can give the law a piece of my mind, else I would be like a terrorist I suppose.

"Let them eat cake!"

"Qu'ils mangent de la brioche" - Marie Antoinette (allegedly)

Let them eat cake is a concept that have allegedly caused many a head to roll in the past.

Else the guy who made my Brownie Bomb at Corner House ,the not so corner anymore ice cream parlour chain in Bangalore, would be getting a worm's eye view as this blog is written. Incidentally owing to the location of my new office (more on that later) it IS round the corner really :)

Brownie Bomb as the name mentions is supposed to contain a BROWNIE as the core ingredient as opposed to the cake in cake fudge.

Well apparently our own Marie A. didn't see the difference either. And I'm pissed because I got something other than what I wanted.

Another incident eerily (is that how u spell it? no patience to spellcheck) similar to the one that caused Marie's pretty head to roll happened one day when Sandy and I went to buy bread for dinner. The shopkeeper said "No madam, we don't have bread" and as an afterthought added "We have cake but". Now here I understand the man's only trying to make a living and be a good salesman. Had I been alone it might have been mildly amusing, but we being who we are stumbled out of the shop suppressing hysterical giggles.

I realised something bout myself today. I accept not getting what I need easier than dealing with getting something other than what I want.

mind vs mussel

" That's the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!" - Calvin

18:24 me: hey why so confused?

A: its that point in life...

18:25 me: haha yeah well i'm kinda there to but not trying to think too much bout it...

A: choices, reality and the will to accept both

18:26 me: well the reality is as ur choices will be...

A: precisely and the choices needs to be dealt with what u choose ur reality to be...

18:27 fact is, i dont know what i want my reality to be

and that leaves me nothing but to be in a state of confusion

18:28 me: hehe yeah thats the root cause really...but after bout a year of pondering n coming to no single conclusion i've let instinct take over...n so far i'm doing good hehehe

18:29 A: instinct... rt...thats something to start with id guess

me: yeah see in the end of the day ud never be happy till it felt right somewhere deep down...

18:30 whether u know whats gonna happen or not

18:31 n as long as ur not neurotic enough to mope over ur mistakes ...something good will come of it anyway :P

A: i like the last statement

one needs to keep moving on...

learning along the way

18:32 me: exactly ...we tend to overthink n screw ourselves up over something we'd be laughing at a few years from now

A: absolutely...

18:33 me: so might as well be happy with what u have for the moment n hope for the best hehehe

A: no rgrets at the end of the day.... and a feeling to want to wake up in the morning... to want to be at ur best...whatever the reason

18:34 man... we almost sound like aritotle and plato having a discussion over chai

but meaninful in all what we said

18:35 me: hhaha u should be here then the weather is absolutely lovely!!!...sudden rain...

A: man... london... reainin and me freezing my brains off

me: hmmm yeah i think u need to be an architect for a good couple of years to feel the way we do...hahaha

18:36 A: on that note... i will now go and try prepare some food... lunch is what i would call it

happy holi..

me: hehe good luck with that....

18:37 yeah happy holi/good fri/id/papeti!

how cool is that?

A: awesome

enjoy urself...

me: u too :)

A: hi to moy when u meet him...

me: will do

A: take care brinds

laters then

me: he still wants ur mums mussels recipe though

:P

18:38 adios

A: grand mums

me: hehe

well u have created a monster never the less :P tc

Lizard King

"I think we dream so we don't have to be apart so long. If we're in each others dreams, we can play together all night!" - Hobbes

For most of my life I have been afraid to venture out of my room when nature calls at ungodly hours. The reason being apart from the obvious demons emerging from the depths of my imagination, the very much unimagined and boldly venturing remnants of dinosaurs that I so wish were extinct - lizards.
But that changed a little more than five years ago, that was the year we got Poochie.

Poochie would enthusiastically accompany me on my nightly sojourns and gleefully chase away my fears.
This way I gained a little courage from him and when I lived on my own in Bangalore, somehow the mere thought of Poochie made the monsters scuttle away and hide from me instead. I sometimes smile at my second hand courage through my sleep and get back into bed so.
Today was the first time when I made to the loo in the dark alone at home in Mysore, my thoughts were with Poochie instead. He died last night.
I'm pissed off with what happened and every fibre of my being is crying.
But I am trying to think of the good times like I know I'm supposed to and trying to borrow a little more courage one last time.
This may not seem like the best event to start a blog with, but as the name suggests it is someplace I can finally grumble about all the things I try to grin and bear in life (or not :P).
Well right now I'm grumbling bout why lizards are not extinct yet. Apart from feeling a whole lot of things I can't even get myself to write about and wondering why the hell am i doing this?